Hide and Seek
By ALBA

FANDOM: Lord of the Rings - Real Person Slash

RATING: PG-13

SPOILERS: None

SUMMARY: An afternoon of playing leads to some interesting things.

DISCLAIMER: This only happened in my mind, and I'm not Galadriel, so this isn't true. Okay? These boys are their own, and slashy as they may be, I don't know if they actually did this. I can dream, though.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Originally inspired by Moosic's plot bunny about being kidnapped, which kinda twisted into it's own little fic. Thanks to Kris for the poking, and the prodding, and the ass-kicking when it was needed.

HIDE AND SEEK

They were just playing, the hobbits and the elf. They were chasing each other around the forest of "Middle-Earth", playing some sort of twisted version of hide-and-go-seek, since it was very hard for Orlando to hide while wearing his bright blond wig. Not that he wasn't trying. Ian and Viggo, sitting slightly off to the side on a pair of tree stumps, had long stopped pretending to run through one of their scenes. They sat silently together, just watching the 'children' play amidst the giant trees of their own personal fantasyland.

At the moment, Dom appeared to be "it" and was chasing Billy between two large trees. A flash of gold just to the right of the charging pair indicated Orlando's presence, and Elijah was trying his best to sneak past Dom while the older hobbit-actor's back was turned. Sean was nowhere to be seen.

Dom and Billy vanished into the trees and moments later, a loud squeal and a Gaelic curse split the air, making Ian laugh. "Billy just got caught."

Another squeal, accompanied by a rather creative curse, and Viggo grinned. "I think Orlando got hit. He's at the disadvantage here with that wig of his."

"I know," said Ian.

Elijah glanced around quickly and ducked behind Viggo, breathing hard. "I'm hiding here now."

Viggo just looked over his shoulder. "Really, little hobbit."

"Yes, really." Elijah poked Viggo's shoulder and ducked when he heard footsteps approaching the small clearing they'd designated home base. But even home base wasn't safe, because if someone got caught and was held down long enough to be tickled, they were declared to be 'it'. That's what Viggo and Ian were for-- they were the referees and they had final say as to whether someone had been held down long enough.

"SEAN!" Orlando's voice screeched from somewhere to their left. Sean's giggle was heard and Sean himself soon followed, nearly tripping over Elijah's huge hobbit feet in his haste to get away from Orlando's long arms. Elijah squirmed away, ending up beside Viggo and quite visible to anyone walking through. Sean was soon forgotten when Orlando laid eyes on Elijah, even though the hobbit was trying to be invisible. Not working, obviously, as Orlando grinned and began stalking him. Elijah squeaked and tried to back away, but not quickly enough. Orlando pounced like a cat, pinning the smaller man to the ground.

"ORLI!" Elijah laughed, vainly trying to escape the tickling fingers.

"You're mine, boy!" Laughing, Elijah somehow managed to wriggle himself free and took off into the safety of the trees. Orlando stood up and brushed himself off. "Lijah's it!"

"AM NOT!" Elijah yelled back. "You didn't hold me down long enough!"

Orlando looked at Viggo and Ian. Ian sighed. "Nope, not long enough. Close, though."

"Fuck!" Orlando cursed. Elijah's giggle was heard from somewhere in the forest nearby. Sean had once again vanished, not an easy trick when wearing huge prosthetic feet. Billy and Dom were quietly giggling somewhere just out of sight. Orlando glared in the direction Elijah had vanished in before he turned towards the sound of the giggles. He had once said that playing Legolas reminding him of being a cat, and never had it been more apparent than now. Stalking the hobbits like this, he looked very much like a predatory cat. A very *pretty* predatory cat.

"HA!" he yelled, pouncing on... nothing. Dom jumped up and flew one way, Billy another, leaving Orlando in the middle, face-down in the dirt. Ian nearly fell off his tree stump laughing and Viggo snorted. Nice to see the perfect little elf get dirty for a change. So now he had a right to call Orlando the "filthy elf" when Orlando called him "human scum".

"That was so not funny," Orlando managed after he got the dirt out of his mouth. The front of his shirt was black with mud while his leggings were sporting rather large grass stains at the knees. Peter wasn't going to be happy about this, Viggo thought. Oh, well. Let them play. They wouldn't be getting another moment like this for a while. It was the middle of what felt like the millionth day of shooting, and the cast was waiting for the light to change. For once, the New Zealand location wasn't behaving, and it was too sunny for the scene Peter wanted to shoot. So they had time to kill while the light changed enough for Peter's liking.

Before the nine of them had escaped, Peter had given them very clear instructions. The instructions to the older actors had been to make sure that the younger ones "didn't get into any trouble." Easier said than done, which the director knew all to well. But he had to say *something* or else Orlando was likely to talk them all into swandiving off the nearest bridge or something equally crazy. The instructions to the younger actors had simply been to not break any bones. Sean B had gotten bored and had wandered off with John a while ago, muttering something about finding coffee. So that left Ian and Viggo to be the babysitters for the hyper hobbits and the even more hyper elf.

"GOTCHA!" Orlando suddenly yelled, yanking on a foot and pulling a body out of the grass. It turned out to be a very dirty Sean A, who just as quickly grabbed Elijah, slithering his way across the grass nearby. After tagging Elijah, Sean used the younger man as a prop to pick himself off the ground, nearly knocking Elijah's wig off. Reaching out blindly, Elijah grabbed one of Sean's prosthetic feet, which Sean somehow managed to kick off. Laughing, Sean escaped with Orlando, leaving Elijah holding a hobbit foot, wrinkling his nose. A rustling in the tree above Ian's head made Viggo look up and grin. Elijah followed the movement of his head to discover Dominic sitting on one of the treebranches.

"Dom, get down here," Elijah said.

"No way, Lij. You're it! I'm not going anywhere near you," Dom shot back. Elijah picked up a small stick and threw it at Dom, nearly making him lose his balance. "Hey!"

"I've got to get you down somehow."

Dom made a rude noise. "I'm not coming down." The bushes behind Viggo moved and Elijah's eyes flicked over that direction, but otherwise, he made no other movement.

"Come on, Dom," coaxed Elijah, moving towards Dom's tree.

"No. Nope."

"Dom." Elijah was starting to pout a bit, something that usually worked on Dom. Not today.

"I'm not that stupid, Lij." A snort from the bushes behind Viggo. Elijah grinned.

"Reeeeeeeeeally." Elijah moved a bit more towards the tree Dom was in. But Dom saw what he was really doing and laughed softly. Ian grinned, too, but Viggo just looked confused. That is, until he realized how close Elijah really was to HIM and not to the tree. And then Viggo had to grin, if just at Elijah's sneakiness. Dom started muttering in German--something about a horse and cow that Viggo *really* didn't want to know about--as Elijah snuck ever closer to the moving bushes. Giving Dom an evil grin, Elijah silently counted to three and then pounced on the bush.

"LIJAH!" Sean B's voice yelled.

"Oops!" Elijah exclaimed, scrambling off the rather rumpled Man. "But um. You're it." With that, Elijah took off, leaving a very bewildered Sean in his wake. Ian and Viggo just looked at their castmate, grinning.

"You heard the boy," Ian said.

"You're it, Beanman," added Viggo, looking up into the tree where Dom still perched. Sean caught his glance and snickered.

"Fine, fine. I'll play," Sean called to the world at large. Four heads popped up from their hiding places to greet the new player before they all disappeared again. Ignoring Dom, Sean began quietly walking over to the tree he'd last seen Billy hiding behind. Billy squeaked and jumped up when he saw Sean coming, tripping over his own feet as he did so. Sean pounced--a rather amusing sight given Sean's size--on the bundle of laughing hobbit. Orlando took advantage of Sean's distraction to streak by, nearly running over Ian in his quest to get away. Sean A appeared out of nowhere and ran after Orlando, both disappearing farther into the forest. Elijah again hid behind Viggo, letting Viggo's body hide his own from Sean's view. But Billy caught Elijah's movement from the corner of his eye and betrayed his hobbit brother to the human currently tickling him to death. Payback for the fight scene, certainly.

"Elijah," Sean sing-songed, moving in Viggo's direction.

"Go away," Elijah's muffled voice came from behind Viggo. "I'm not at home!"

"Then why are you talking?" Viggo muttered, earning himself a slap on the shoulder.

"Be nice, old man."

"HEY!" Sean and Viggo cried as one.

"I'm not old," Ian chimed in. "I'm just well-preserved." Elijah snorted and Ian shot him a dirty look before turning his attention to his fellow 'old timer'. "Sean, where'd you lose John?"

"Somewhere back there," Sean waved his arm vaguely. "He doesn't like playing with us."

"I don't like playing with you much either," Orlando's voice rang out from somewhere. Sean narrowed his eyes, looking for the source of the sound. Elijah dared to stand up now, peeking over Viggo's shoulder. One small hand rested beside his neck and Viggo mentally shook his head at how *small* Elijah was. He forgot sometimes because his screen presence was so big, but the boy himself was only 5'6". Viggo sometimes thought that a good hug would break him in two. Not that he'd thought seriously about doing it. Of course not.

"Viggo?" Elijah's soft voice, right in his ear. Boy did that make him jump.

"What?"

"Will you protect me?" But Elijah was laughing and Viggo smacked him.

"Baby."

Elijah pouted. "Come on, you big, strong, hunk of man, you."

Viggo howled. "Ian, did you hear that? Our little Elijah called me a hunk!"

"Hunk of waste of flesh," Sean B commented, eyeing Elijah. The hobbit in question stuck out his tongue at Sean, who returned the gesture.

"Yuck fou," Elijah said to Sean. "But Vig?" Batting his blue eyes.

Viggo rolled his eyes, smiling. "Always," he responded half-sarcastically. Sean B was ignoring them now, searching for Orlando. Flashes of gold were coming from behind a tree not far away, and Sean was trying to sneak closer to it without being obvious.

Elijah looked up at him, eyes glittering with something a bit more than teasing. "Promise?"

"I promise. This big, strong, hunk of man will protect the poor, innocent, little hobbit." Elijah gave him a sunny smile then. "If with my life, or death, I can protect you, I will," he continued, earning a small slap from Elijah when he recognized the lines.

"SEAN!" Orlando suddenly screeched at the top of his lungs, "stop trying to pull my pants down!"

"But your bum's all dirty!" Sean A's voice called back. Sean B paused in his search for Orlando long enough to see Elijah *still* standing behind Viggo and he began to move in their direction, but Ian shook his head. Nodding with a small smile, Sean turned his attention to Dom, still up in his tree. Had to give the boy credit for creativity. Only someone really nimble could get up there to get him. Unless you were Sean, who just happened to excel at tree-climbing, even if he was older than the hobbits and the elf. Grinning evilly, Sean grabbed for Dom's dangling legs, earning a yelp. A few minutes later, Dom was on the ground at Sean's feet being tickled mercilessly by Billy, who had appeared out of nowhere to attack his friend. Orlando and Sean A crept out of their hiding places to watch the fun, and soon found themselves at the mercy of their hobbit brothers.

"GOTCHA!" Sean B yelled at Orlando, poking at the younger man's ribs until Orlando dissolved into very un-elf like giggles. Only Viggo, Ian, and Elijah managed to avoid the pile of hobbits, man, and elf on the forest floor. At least, they managed to avoid it until Sean B evilly pulled Viggo into their pile, and Viggo grabbed Elijah. The seven of them squirmed and tickled and yelled and kicked and did everything physically possible to annoy the others before Sean B caught sight of a pair of rather familiar feet. Familiar *bare* feet.

"Um, guys?" Sean began, but was interrupted.

"BOYS!" Peter bellered at the top of his lungs, causing eight full-grown men to jump to their feet in shock, never mind that Sean B's wig was half-off, Orlando's shirt had a tear in it, Sean A's left foot was nowhere to be found, Viggo's shirt was half-open, Dom was missing an ear, Billy had his cloak wrapped around his head, and Elijah was missing his wig altogether. Ian stood beside them, knowing he was as guilty as the rest. He didn't stop them, and he knew Peter was going to get after him for it. It was quite embarrasing to be scolded by someone young enough to be his son.

"Yes, Peter?" Eight voices chorused as one. It was unusual to see Peter lose his cool like this, but when he did, they knew they were in serious trouble.

"I thought I told you to stay out of trouble!"

"We are," Orlando defended them.

"No, you're only *ruining* your costumes! Do you have any idea how much MONEY these things cost?" Peter was really ranting now. Elijah stepped back a bit from where he stood in front of Viggo, nearly crawling into the older man's skin. Feeling very much like Aragorn at the Council of Elrond, Viggo put his hands on Elijah's shoulders, giving the thin blades a quick reassuring squeeze. Elijah half-smiled up at him before turning his attention back to the director on the warpath.

"Come on, Peter," Ian tried to soothe, "they were just playing."

"Playing? Whatever." Peter glared at the now-silent group. "All of you, back to the wardrobe trailers. Get yourselves cleaned up and BACK ON SET in an hour. Is that understood?"

"Yes, sir," eight voices said. Once Peter was out of sight, the seven disheveled members of the Fellowship began picking up the discarded pieces of their costumes. Billy got himself together first, so he and Ian walked towards the trailers. Sean and Dom were searching for their missing prosthetics, leaving Viggo, Sean B, Orlando and Elijah to walk together. They hadn't gotten more than a few steps before Viggo felt a small hand slip into his. He didn't even have to look down to know who it was.

Halfway back, Orlando noticed the two of them and raised an eyebrow. "Something you want to tell me, Lij?"

Elijah glanced up at him. "No, why?"

"Viggo?"

"Oh, that," Elijah smiled. "I'm..."

"We're in character," Viggo broke in. "Frodo trusts Aragorn with his life, doesn't he?" Orlando nodded. "We're practising that. Like... The trust extends so far that Aragorn can even do this," suddenly picking up Elijah and throwing him over one shoulder, "and Frodo wouldn't say a word."

"VIGGO!" Elijah shrieked, sounding very much like a girl.

"No, he wouldn't say Viggo," Sean B laughed.

"PUT ME DOWN!" Now Viggo understood what Sean had gone through in the scene where Gandalf had run into the Balrog-- five and a half feet of squirming Elijah was very hard to hold onto. Especially since said boy was trying to use his hair as a prop to get off Viggo's shoulder.

"That hurt!"

"Sorry." Elijah didn't sound sorry at all.

"I think I like having the Ring Bearer at my mercy."

"Vig..."

"What? From up there, you can't do much damage."

"Viggo Mortensen, put me down." Somehow, Elijah trying to sound commanding didn't quite make it. Didn't help that Orlando and Sean B were laughing their asses off.

"No."

"He's got you," Orlando said through his tears. "He's really got you, Lij."

"Not for long," Viggo heard Elijah mutter. Squirming, Elijah managed to get his hands on Viggo's ear. And he yanked. Soon there was a pile of clothes lying on the ground and and screeching man standing above them, clutching his ear. Once the manly dance of pain was done, the man in question glared down at the pile of clothes now revealed to be the youngest hobbit.

"Elijah. Jordan. Wood."

"Oops." Elijah tried to scramble away, but Viggo's long arms grabbed him before he got very far.

"Elijah..." evil grin. "I do believe we have some, ah, rehearsing to do."

"What rehearsing?" asked Elijah, looking confused. Sean B and Orlando just laughed at him. They had a feeling they knew where *this* was going.

"Oh, you'll see." Once again, Elijah ended up over Viggo's shoulder. Calling "tell Peter we're otherwise occupied for the afternoon!" as he walked away from Sean B and Orlando, Viggo turned on his heel and strode back to the clearing where the hide-and-seek game had recently been played. Sean A was still there, looking for his foot. Or rather, he was looking for Sam's foot. When Viggo entered, Sean simply raised an eyebrow and scampered off. When they were alone, Viggo set Elijah down on the ground and leered at him, keeping a tight hold on one slender arm.

"Vig..."

"Quiet, little hobbit."

"Vig."

"I said, quiet."

"What are you doing, Vig... no, no!" Elijah squirmed, trying to get his arm out of Viggo's grip. No such luck. Viggo was a lot stronger than Elijah. A fact he took very good advantage of. The younger man wasn't going anywhere. At least, not until Viggo decided to let him go. And the way he was going, Elijah didn't think it was going to be any time soon.

"Quiet..." Viggo leaned his face even closer to Elijah's, until their noses were almost level. From this close, he could see every detail, every emotion in Elijah's eyes, although he couldn't quite tell what the predominant one was. Fear? Anxiety? Desire?

Desire?

Wait, where'd that come from? Desire wasn't supposed to be... Elijah was suddenly kissing him and Viggo realized THAT's where the desire came from. Because the kiss was definitely curling his toes in their boots. It was affecting a few other parts of his body, too, but he'd deal with that later. Elijah's hand snuck south and found leather-covered hardness.

So maybe he wouldn't deal with it later.

*****

"WHERE have you two been?" Dom demanded when they finally emerged from the forest. "Peter is on the warpath!"

Viggo looked at Elijah. "We were rehearsing."

"Right," Dom said. "Rehearsing how to take each other's clothes off, it looks like." At the confused looks, Dom sighed. "Lij, you're wearing Viggo's shirt. Although how he got yours on is a mystery."

Elijah blushed. "Oops."

"Go get changed or I'll skewer you both," Dom threatened. "And no, before you ask, it doesn't bother me. Just try not to get yourselves caught. Ian'll lecture you for years if he finds out."

"Our secret." Viggo looked over at Elijah again. "Lij?"

"What?"

"We're not done rehearsing yet."

"VIGGO!"