Time
By ALBA

FANDOM: Full Metal Alchemist

RATING: G

SUMMARY: Alphonse wonders if he's living on borrowed time.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own these characters. SquareEnix does. I just took them out for a spin. I'll put them back later, once Roy has his clothes back on. ;)

AUTHOR'S NOTES: SPOILERS!!! If you have not seen up to episode 46, DO NOT READ THIS BECAUSE YOU WILL BE SPOILED. I've been in an Al-introspective mood recently, and this is him musing on the Philosopher's Stone. Written in about 30 minutes, with minimal editing. May be rewritten later. For the "something borrowed" challenge from the temps_mort coummunity on livejournal.

DEDICATION: For Al fans, because he gets no love.

*****

Time

Alphonse Elric was not one to wax metaphorical. However, recent events were quickly changing his mind. The creation of the Philosopher's Stone within his own body had made him think about mortality, providing a suit of armour that happened to have a soul could be considered "mortal".

Alphonse couldn't help but wonder what would happen to him after the Stone was used. Would he have his own body back? Would his brother's limbs be restored? Would either of them even survive the attempt? Human transmutation was illegal, and the had already dodged the proverbial bullet once. There was an old saying that lightning never struck twice in the same place, and Alphonse wondered if that was true for luck. They had barely survived a failed transmutation - what would happen if they actually succeeded?

Thinking these thoughts made Alphonse wonder if he wasn't living on borrowed time. How long could he sustain the Stone in his chest? How long would it take his brother to find the answers he was seeking? By the time everything was ready, and Alphonse himself was ready to allow the stone to be used, would it be too late for him? Edward was a talented alchemist, but if the quality of the Stone was poor, or if it had eroded to a point where it was useless, even he wouldn't be able to help Alphonse then. And if the Stone failed, what would happen to Alphonse? Would the Stone be destroyed? If the stone was no more, what would happen to his metal body? What would happen to his *soul*?

A shiver of fear ran through Alphonse's soul. He didn't want to think about his body being destroyed, and the very real possibility that it would destroy the soul within it. Edward had only barely managed to save his soul the first time he lost his body. Alphonse didn't even want to think about what his brother would have to give up to retrieve his soul again. It had cost his arm and leg the first time. The second time would undoubtedly be higher, and most probably fatal for at least one of the brothers.

Alphonse didn't want to live knowing he was the cause of his older brother's death. He just didn't know how to tell Edward that. Edward was willing, Alphonse knew, had even tried at least twice. That time in Central with Scar, Alphonse had called Edward an idiot and told him that he didn't want to live without his older brother, but Alphonse wasn't sure Edward truly understood his words. Edward was the only family Alphonse had - their father, despite his recent reappearance, was only a distant memory in the younger boy's mind. If it wasn't for the picture that their mother had displayed until the day of her death, Alphonse wouldn't even know what his father looked like.

Something wasn't right with his father anyway. Alphonse remembered speaking to his father at Winry's, getting the distinct impression that he knew more about the Philosopher's Stone than he would admit to. He also distantly remembered words hissed by a Homunculus months before, a curse about Edward being "his" son. How did the Homunculi know his father? What did his father know of the Philosopher's Stone? And why wouldn't he tell Alphonse and Edward what he knew when he was well aware that his sons were searching for it?

Not for the first time, Alphonse cursed the existence of the Stone within him. Was it really worth it, simply to have the Stone within his grasp? All of the pain already inflicted, and the pain yet to come, simply because Alphonse wanted a human body again. And he wasn't even sure if Edward would be successful in attaining their dream. Alphonse didn't doubt that failure at this stage would kill them both. If the human transmutation didn't kill them, the Homunculi probably would. It was just a matter of time.

Alphonse sighed as best as he was able, looking at the clock that hung on the wall. The second had ticked along, counting down the seconds, minutes, hours, days, until everything finally came crashing down.

Tick tock.

/END